eeeeesh, its been too long...

I am supposed to be at church right now. As we were getting ready to walk out the door, Brian's back twinged. He needed a heating pad, Aleve and water. I made the mistake of answering the ringing telephone. It was Chase wanting a payment (can't blame them, I owe them money). I proceeded to finally hang up the phone and get Brian settled and it was 7:00. Church was starting and I would be 10 minutes late if I went. As I am writing this, I am realizing how selfish even this sounds. I am so wrapped up in my emotional state, that I can't even focus on anything. Here is a list of my current crisis/issues:
1. my weight
2. my bills
3. my sister
4. my job
5. my house
6. my lack of seeing my friend
The list could probably go on and on and on...let's see, oh yeah! I made it all about me. WOW, not once did I pray about this. God is bigger than all of these things. His power is far more capable of handling this than mine. Yet, I continue to hold on and try to fix it myself. Yikes, I am a 'self-a-holic'.

My First Post :)

This morning I woke up at around 6 am. I spent time praying and thanking God for His grace, love and blessings. I read the end of the book of Matthew. As I marveled at God’s great sacrifice (His Son), I made grand plans to tidy up my house, do my dishes, organize my office, pay bills, do my husband’s billing and balance my checkbooks(which haven’t been done in ages). I finished reading Matthew, and made coffee for my husband and I. While listening to the brewing coffee maker, I poured myself a bowl of granola and immediately plopped down onto the couch and watched ‘Confessions of a Shopaholic’. Nothing got done, my great plans to be responsible died on the couch.

As I showered, to go to church this SUNDAY morning, God’s day, I realized how utterly selfish I am. I am the most selfish person I know. I am a ‘self-aholic’…

I am grateful however, that I feel as though God has grabbed me by the shoulders and shaken me up. Here is my list of selfish behaviors that were immediately pointed out to me:

1. I can’t be bothered to clean my house because most people know that I hate to clean. So, why bother? They understand…I work a full-time job.

2. I can’t be bothered to work out because… I couldn’t wake up early enough or I just got off work and want to spend time with my husband or I’m tired or I have other plans or, or, or… the list could go on and on!

3. I don’t want to balance the checkbooks or pay bills because…let’s face it, that is just not fun regardless.

4. I don’t do the billing for my husband’s business when I should, because I can always do it LATER !!!

So, all that to say, it has become very clear that my little world is all about me and not about glorifying God by serving the people around me. I am going to change this with a lot of prayer and encouragement from some very important people in my little world. God, in His infinite grace, has strategically placed several wonderful women in my life. I am so blessed.